Which Dyke to Watch Out For are you?

Dykes to Watch out for is a VERY funny Cartoon Strip, that became a book, that became my only friend all of those ancient years ago, when I was coming out. :)

I had pretty much forgotten about the brilliance of Alison's writing until we were in DC last weekend, and Jen and Cait had ALL of her books! So of course, I pick one up and begin reading, and begin laughing - especially now, re-reading it from the "other side of the closet"

It's STILL Brilliant.

So I stumble upon this quiz at Jen's blog! And I share it with you...

You scored as Clarice. You are Clarice, a driven, liberal, workaholic lawyer. The Bush Administration has caused you a lot of anxiety lately. You have orders to cut one volunteer commitment and spend more time playing GTA3 with your son Raffi.

Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

It was a beautiful day, kind of like today...

Narda and I were asleep, and Tom had just come in from walking the dog, Resque. He said Shelli, Narda, wake up, a plane just hit the World Trade Center.

Now Narda and I are both theatre folks, and generally have a slightly difficult time waking up.

We thought Tom was kidding. He said no. We turned on the news. We thought it was a small sesna plane or something similar, a mistake, an accident.

We watch the news some more, and plane two hits. We lose color in our faces, and run up to the roof, we can't see anything. We throw on bras and somewhat acceptable clothing and run outside.

At the time, we lived on West 27th Street and 6th avenue, and had a nice little view of the towers from our corner.

Traffic was NON existant. People were flooding the streets.

There was smoke coming out of the twin towers.

We are in shock, go back inside, make coffee, and stay glued to the TV for hours. I put a video tape in to catch the news of the day. (I still haven't watched it again...)

Around 10am, we decide to do something. We all go out and vote.

We come outside from voting, on 23rd and 6th, and I look downtown. I say to Tom and Narda: "Hey, you guys, I think there's only one tower." Tom just reassures me that it's the smoke from the towers obscuring the view.

We walk back to the apartment, and back to the tv... My sick vision has come to pass. BOTH towers are now gone.

I had been having problems with my old roommate Jane, as we had been friends since Junior highschool, and we had been roommates for about 7 years - far too long to live with someone that you are not having sex with. I remember that she works for the Federal Reserve bank of NY, and I immediately try to use the phone. No luck. No internet, no cell phones, and land line service is intermitant. I finally get a hold of Jane's folks in Portland, Oregon, and Yes, they have heard from her. Thank G-d. She, and her fellow employees have been ushered down into the basement of her building, and they had one phone, but no news. They are eventually let out to go home, and she, among the others, walk home through the smoke, debris, ash, and human remains.

We thoguht the death toll was 10 thousand. It was almost 3 thousand. 3 thousand too many. Young, old, rich and poor.

At the time, I didn't know Jordana and David; Narda and I would meeet them a few years later, in our Derech Torah class. We became friends, and have continued that friendship past the class's end date. Jordana's father perished in the towers. Herman Sandler, z'l. They read his name today. I thought it was a hard day for me and my memories. I cannot imagine being in her shoes.

Jordana, I send you love. nothing more, and certainly nothing less.

How YOU doin?

One of the blogs I usually read...The Naked Ovary

decided to ask everyone today how THEY were doing - since a blog is a place where we tell you, the world, wide internet how WE are doing on a daily, or almost, or OK, school starts Monday - ACK, weekly basis, I liked that she turned the tables around...

this was my response to her:

I am overwhelmed with the grief of the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

I am ANGRY at people that compare it to September 11th. I live here, dammit, I WATCHED the fucking first tower fall, don't you DARE compare it.

I am bitter at everyone on my fertility friend on-line supprot group that has gotten pregnant by just looking at sperm, and we NEVER got pregnant after 14 medicated IUI cycles.

I am anxious that my boss and I missed a scheduling glitch and will have some MAJOR fixin' to do come Monday...

I miss my girlfriend/partner/lover/what is the PC term these days? She's in California, and comes home to me on Sunday

I am sad by the loss of the relationship between my mother and I - she doesn't have all of her "there" there, and it hurts to try and remember that.

I am grateful that you asked how I'm doing, and that you ACTUALLY want to hear the answer. I, as well, am SO fascinated by those that ask it all the time, I simply reply: "do you really want to know, or do you just want to hear "fine, thanks, and you?" Because if they want to know, I'll tell them. And most of the time, I'm happy and content with my life, and happy to tell them that, too - just today, however, today, I have a lot of feelings swirling around, and I think I'll copy this post and post it on MY blog, and ask them how THEY are doing.

Thanks for letting me tell you how I'm doing today.

I pray your wait gets shorter and shorter...

Love,
Shelli

So, dear internet, I ask YOU - "how YOU doin?"

Please feel free to share. honestly.

Who I'm voting for on Tuesday...

On Tuesday, September 12th, 2005, I will be voting for the following people:

FOR MAYOR: VIRGINA FIELDS

FOR MANHATTAN BOROUGH PRESIDENT: MARGAURITA LOPEZ

FOR PUBLIC ADVOCATE: BETSY GOTBAUM

CITY COUNCIL:
DISTRICT 8: JOHN RUIZ

DISTRICT 9: YASMIN CORNELIUS

DISTRICT 10: MIGUEL MARTINEZ

I may not be the NY Times, but these are my endorsemensts. I made my decisions based on these few simple platforms:

1) Do they support allowing Narda and I to marry? THEY ALL DO.

2) Do they support teachers AND students? YES

3) Are they sincere? (I've met a few of them, and yes, they are!)

So there ya have it, my endorsements for the primaries 2005!

Stirring the pot...

Our journey through infertility and adoption has its ebb and flow of emotion.

Usually, I'm of the mindset that "it will happen, we are blessed to have so many calls in the past few months, our baby is out there, yada yada yada"

I am now, however, in a bitter and rensentful place. (this too shall pass, but let me enjoy being a bitch about it for a while...) There is an on line support group I joined nearly 3 years ago when Narda and I started this journey to parenthood, thinking "we'll get pregnant in the first few months, it will all be so easy."

And then the universe laughed at us.

We tried for over 14 cycles, with GREAT timing, medication, good sperm (4 different anonymous donors) and a clean bill of health from my primary, my gyn, and my RE (reproductive endocronologist) After the first few times, my friends started tuning out, I was still so fascinated by the science of it all, and kept forgetting that my friends really DIDN'T care aobut my uterus or my cervical mucous... Because to me, it was simply science - to them, it was TMI...

Each time it didn't work, I got more and more numb to the process, and continued to look at it as science. I took comfort in food, and I gained weight. (the fertility drugs helped that a little bit, but in reality it was me, and thinking that going to the gym would be "bad" for an embryo.... I just used that as an excuse not to go) I lost a part of myself in the process, Narda and I lost a part of us in the process, we forgot why we were doing this to begin with.

Fast forward to July 2004, when we went to our orientation session at Spence Chapin It was a breath of fresh air, and we decided to focus solely on adoption, after using up the sperm we had in storage. Our agency is GREAT, truly. The wait it hard, but it WILL happen - you all have read about how close we have come, and our awesome social worker, Nicole, told me just a few days ago that there is a lot of positive interest in us, that nothing is solid yet, but that she should be giving us a call in a few weeks.

ALL of this to say (I never was good at making things short), I have allowed myself to dabble in the bitterness a bit, and to be a bit sassy on my on-line support group - specifically in the donor sperm boards. (I am SO grateful for the NY/NJ boards, as that's where I met Stef and Cat and I TRULY do not think that I could have survived this journey without them - thank you for that. (I ADORE you two!)

But back to the fun... so the donor sperm boards has a fun mixed group of hormonal women - lesbians, single women, married couples with male factor infertility, and LOTS of hormones, because when you move into the realm of donor sperm, it's almost a guarantee that fertility will be involved. Lately, there has been a rash of women who NEVER post, and then pop in and say something like: "Wow! It worked on the first try, we're pregnant!" And expect everyone to rush in and congratulate them. I used to give a hearty Mazel Tov to each and every BFP (big fat positive on a pregnancy test) announcement. I've stopped, and in fact, one woman posted that she used her husband's sperm as an insemination, and on the first time, bam! She's preggers, and makes a post that says "it works!" Well, imagine just how thrilled for her I was... So I left a sassy reply, and got reported. TWICE. Sheesh. It would be SO much better if people would just say to your face: "What you wrote conflicted with me, or somehting like that" but to go to "big brother" and report it. Man.... it just gets under my skin.

So keep an eye on the link in the title, I'm feeling rather sassy lately, and I'm at home right now, as work has me swamped lately, but that will calm down a bit soon, and I'll be back to my normal, supportive, cheery self, but I'm having fun getting in touch with my sassy side....

every little bit helps...

this is the response I got from the Noah's Wish foundation - it made me a little weepy...



Dear Friend,

I want to thank you for the part you are playing to ensure that animals were
not the forgotten victims during Hurricane Katrina. Your financial support
will help in so many different ways and you should be proud of what you have
helped to make possible. I wish you could be with us to see the joy and
relief on the faces of the people whose animals needed our help and be the
recipient of some of the juicy kisses we receive from the dogs and heard the
contented purring on the cats that we cuddle in our arms. It is a constant
reminder why we keep doing what we do.

If you need a receipt for tax purposes, please print the attached document
and keep it with your conformation that you receive from PayPal. If you need
further documentation please contact us by e-mail.

Again, thanks for caring and for being a special part of the Noah's Wish
team!


Federal ID #: XXXXX

No goods or services were provided in return for your donation

Bush is coming

He just announced that he's "on his way" to New Orleans. He's eager to "talk to the people."

I wonder which segment of the population they'll film him talking to?

My money's NOT on the poor black folks in the midst of chaos who are angry and asking for the help that won't come for them...

It will probably be the folks in the Astradome, "grateful" for being "rescued."

If in fact, Bush DOES talk to the disadvantaged black folks, who are fainting and angry and can't feed their babies, I'll eat my hat and offer him a public apology... (they have to be the angry ones, however...)

A "temporary disruption"

THAT is what OUR PRESIDENT calls the worst Natural disaster in American history.

And I CANNOT believe FOX NEWS who is down playing the tragedies and civil disruption, and playing up how wonderful Americans are - and OK, yeah, we are great, but, there is CHAOS and PAIN in New Orleans.

I am NOT rich by ANY means, and I barely have spending money after I pay my bills every month, but I just gave 100 bucks to Noah's Wish.

It's too much, it's just too much tragedy, and I am ASHAMED of our president. He commits troops three days later than he should have (note a pattern here), but I doubt he'll send any of his personal money, or monies of his corporate friends...

here's a link to his speech, with pictures: Transcript of Bush's Speech

I was going to post highlights, but re-reading it just makes me SO frustrated.

He should be on the TV every night – WHERE ARE YOU MR. PRESIDENT?!



Narda just told me that she overheard someone on the bus today saying it was “their own damn fault, for not evacuating.” My jaw dropped – yeah, the poorest quadrant of the country – old people who don’t have cars, mothers with newborn babies – they couldn’t leave, so it’s their fault.


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Helping the animals

I have been trying not to think about all of the poor animals that may have perished in Katrina's wake, as it would be just too much for me to handle, truly, I think I'd end up in the psych ward from the grief.

However, denial does not eradicate the fact that not only do people need help and aid in the Gulf coast, but so do the animals.

PLEASE go here and consider donating, volunteering, or sending the desperately needed items. they do NOT need pet food, just supplies....

Noah's Wish

Quincy sits vigil...

Quincy sits vigil..., originally uploaded by shellipsm.

These odd teeny tiny flying beetle like things have taken up residence under our stove, and Quincy discovered them a few days ago... well, he has since been sititng vigil by the stove, looking for the tiny playmates that mommies have to smooosh with a paper towel.

We just have to get the super up here to pull out the stove and dishwasher, so we can clean and vacuum and seal up behind there - this is our first "bug" incident in 3 years, so that's not bad, i guess, and at least we have 24 hour surveilance......

:)

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Vent ahead - WARNING....

We could have a baby next week if it wasn't for the fact that NYC is So (*&&^%^$#%$%#$&^%$*&^()&*(**& hard to work with in terms of adoption!

We got a call form a friend that a baby is due in California, and they WANT it to go to a same sex couple! She calls us, we call our SW, and they call the appropriate people, I send all of our stuff to them via e-mail, and then BAM.

They say that we'd have to live in California for 6-9 months while the adoption finalized.

Damn.

And then, there are about 5 agencies that are SENDING BABIES TO CANADA for adoption, because there aren't enough black families her ein the states, but some of them won't work with gays and lesbians, and ALL of them won't work with NY.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

If we want to adopt internationally, we'd have to LIE and pretend for one of us to be a single mother. We are NOT willing to do that.

We tried for a year and a half with A.R.T. to get pregnant, and it didn't work - WHY IS THIS SO HARD, WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY BABIES IN NEED OF A GOOD HOME!


Phew.

OK, thanks for letting me vent - ARGH!

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

So since the trip to LA was a bust (albeit, with a few nice days on Narda's roof pool) due ot all of the adoption anxiety we dealt with, we decided that we needed a bonefied, true-AMERICAN vacation!

So this next weekend, we are off to our Nation's capitol, Washington, DC to do some REALLY CHEEZY TOURISTY STUFF, and o visit our friends, Jen & Cait Jen & Cait have stayed TWICE at OUR apartment, so we are thrilled to go visit them, and to see the NEW KITCHEN COUNTERS!

We plan on visiting the Lincoln memorial, the Smithsonian, and the rest, well, we're open to suggestions - ONLY Cheezy Touristy stuff, please! :)

I'm even doing OK with my 'cat-seperation-anxiety' syndrome. I tend to really freak out if I hav eto leave the cats under someone else's care - mostly Cougie, as the others aren't "special-needs" cats, but I'm doing OK, since we're leaving Friday, and back on Monday, it shouldn't be too bad...

apologies

I know I haven't written much in a while, and I actually have LOTS to say.

But I work in academia, and the semester starts next week, and I spent most of my life being a produciton stage manger, NOT a university administrator, so I currently owe LOTS of people on my floor LOTS of alcohol and flowers for helping me through the latest budget Excel Spreadshit.

Yes, Excel SpreadSHIT.

I can do basic Excel, but it took 2 people to clean up the attempt I made at simply "plunking in the numbers" to an already existing formula.

OY. Ella, Mark, if you are out there in Blog land...

I LOVE YOU!

On the brigher side of things, we've discovered "gay TV" -it's a NEW channel called LOGO - on Time Warner Cable in NYC, it's channel 155. It's WAY cool - Lesbian comics, gay-themed movies, advertising targeted towards a gay audience - I LOVE LOGO!

LOGO

Tell them thanks, would ya, and watch it. It's some good TV, NOT cheesy.

Orange!

Spare room is done!, originally uploaded by shellipsm.

Paininting therapy works.

this is the spare room, or the "eventual kid's room" and I've been painting it for the past week. When all of the furniture is back in place, I'll take pictures with the real camera, but I just had to show off my arts and crafts ability.

I got the color block idea from one of my FAVE HGTV shows, "Design on a dime"

sharin da love

my friend, Stef, the one who played Mrs. Bumble in Oliver a few weeks ago is suffering a miscarraige, after THREE years of infertility, she got her BFP (big fat positive - on a pregnancy test and in a blood test at the doctor's office) from a frozen Embryo Transfer. Her numbers went up and up, and now they are going down and down.


That sucks - please go and share some love her way, she needs it right now.

Thanks.

Love you, Stef. Truly. Sending MUCHO love and hugs and alcohol your way.