Tuesday, May 24, 2005

fur children (link to Dooce's entry today)

today, Dooce (one of my favorite bloggers - note the link to the right there) talked about how her poor puppers Chuck (CHUCK ROCKS!) was sick and had to go to the vet. Some of you may recall last summer the MANY and COUNTLESS trips to the vet by all four cats. So here's acopy of the e-mail I sent Heather.

She brought up the question, as I do to you, how FAR would YOU go for your fur children? This was my reply.

if you visit my flickr site, what do you see? Tons of pictures of the scrumptious Narda? Friends and dinner parties? Cousins and Family?

OK sure - but count the pictures of the cats - just count um.


last summer, we put WAY too much on the credit card (almost as much as we spent on sperm trying to get pregnant, but that's another story) to keep the cats healthy. Cougar is now on Prednisone every other day - I have to shove a pill down a cat's throat every other fucking day for the rest of his furry little life, followed by slamming down some petromalt, just so the cat can pee and poop in the shower instead of the litterbox.

I crush up a little green pill of glucosamine and smoosh it into Juno's food EVERY morning so she can have the strength in her 16 year old joints to be a sassy bitch and chase the boys around the apartment.

Quincy is 2, so thankfully, no drugs for him yet.

I share this with you to totally justify whatever you may do to keep Chuckles around. When they are pissing you off, sure, you tell them all of the ways that you could kill them, but when G-d forbid something actually happens, come hell or high water (whatever that means) there is no debt that I would not go into.

So give Chuck a scratch behind the ears for me, and tell him that he is one loved little mother fucker!


(and here's the flickr site - I've listed you as a contact, Quincy is the cat on the toilet: Photo page )

Sunday, May 22, 2005

what kind of English do you speak?

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English

20% Yankee

15% Dixie

10% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

Friday, May 20, 2005


hopeful, originally uploaded by teagrrl.

I saw this shot on Flickr (told you I'm addicted!) and it's in the catagory of "a picture's worth a thousand words..."

It pretty much says it all.

LOVE this shot!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

still waiting

So the Birth Mother is in the hospital with anemia, and I'm on Jury Duty.

Will we know anything before the weekend is out? WHO KNOWS.

I'm looking for the universal lesson in all of this.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


morning all!

So here's the latest in the saga that is our lives:

-The BM will go in, OK, let me correct that, is SCHEDULED to go in on Thursday at 1pm to look at albums.
-Our SW said there's been a lot of positive response to us.
-the BM could cancel, or she could pick the other couple.

- My "something's fishy" vibes went up when she talked aobut the positive response to us. one of a few things is going on: a) she literally means it {and there's slight validation to that as a donor sperm ff sent a couple to our agency, and she just wrote today that the BF (birth father) LIKED US!} b) she's blowing smoke up our ass, because ALL of this happened about 2 days after inquiring about going on the website...hmmmmm, perhaps they don't want lesbians on their website, so they are generating buzz... (my brain goes to weird places) or c) the BM has chosen the other couple already, and they are just dragging it out so that she can tell us and it won't be as painful.

Thank goodness it's "therapy Tuesday" is all I can say.

Regardless, think GREAT thoughts Thursday form 12:30 to about 4pm.

thanks for reading and stopping by...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


The Birth Mother will go in and visit with the baby and look at photo albums on Friday.


the waii-ting, is the hardest part

So the latest update is that the Birthmother DID call her Social Worker (SW) and left a message. The SW wasn't at her desk at the time. The baby's doctor's appointment has been moved to Friday, simply due to scheduling, nothing more.

So what does all of this mean?

That we won't know diddly squat for a while. UGH. Even if the Birth Mother (BM) DOES come into the office and looks at the books, she could take a while to decide.

It's HARD waiting. It's a WHOLE new kind "two week wait" - hmm, OK, let's see, if we count May 5th (phone call) as Ovulation and insemination day, then Thursday, May 19th would be the day we get to "POAS" (pee on a stick) to see if we are pregnant.

OK, putting into that perspective makes it all a little easier....

Sunday, May 08, 2005

funny penguin

I had to watch it twice to see what was actually going on!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

addicted to Flickr

this cat is FUNNY!

Hi, my name is Shelli, and I'm a Flickr addict!

You can check out my shots at

My Photos

I've been getting a LOT of shots of the kitties lately, but there's also this guy "JUNKO," who has a cat Hime - she's truly the most georgeous cat I've EVER seen!

Doing nothing and feeling guilty

OK, so in order to overcome ANXIETY about pending adoption - (either we are, or we aren't - it's a 50-50 chance that the birthmom will pick us), I made a conscious choice to do NOTHING today. It started off innocently enough - check e-mail, look at pictures on flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/shelli and check fertility friend: www.fertilityfriend.com. Have some decaf, some breakfast, then contemplate starting the day.

Then I tell myself that I need to take a brief mental break and play a little Playstation, to take my mind off of "things." I started playing the Sims Bustin Out at approx 11am.

it is now 10:38 pm, and I'm STILL in my Jammies, and I haven't left my apartment.

I should be reveling in the bliss of doing NOTHING all day, so why do I feel guilty?

Tomorrow is a BUSY day - it's our Co-op's gardening party, which I'm in charge of (really, I'm just the chief weed puller, so I get to pick what we plant in the spring) and I have to do laundry, clean the house, and take all of the Passover stuff downstairs, to our storage unit. Passover "Passed over" last week.

I think I would have enjoyed this day more if I could have truly enjoyed the guilty pleasure of doing NOTHING. I just couldn't turn off my A type personality / stage manager mind set. Now mind you, this "guilt" did not get my ass off of the couch, it just ate away at me.

If only I could learn from my precious cats, and just nap the day away, in sheer bliss...

Friday, May 06, 2005

Thanks for the cool link, John!

Take this quiz, see if you are a republican.


I am:
"You're a tax-and-spend liberal democrat. People like you are the reason everyone else votes for guys like Reagan or George W."

Are You A Republican?

And um, Good luck with the puppy!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

holy shit!

ok um..... the adoption agency called. A Birth mother has chosen us and another couple.


The baby was born on April 12th, and is bi-racial - East Indian Trinidadian (birth mom) and a Pale Dominican Republic Latino (birth dad). The baby scored a 9 out of 9 on the apgar, and is small, but healthy. Narda and I are going to talk it over on the weekend.

The birth mother chose us and one other couple. If Narda and I say yes, then the birth mom will look at our photo albums, and chose one couple.

It's SCARY and EXCITING to think HOLY CRAP - this could happen in a moment.

I was surprized to realize that I'd have a reaction to the baby's race. I want to be certain that it looks a little black, you know, to honor Narda. How weird am I - it's probably GEORGEOUS, and I should be smacked right now.

I'll keep you posted, just send good vibes our way....

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

high five

Thursday will 05/05/05

cool, huh?

Monday, May 02, 2005


So Narda's been out of town, working on a show, and I see her once a week. It's fun every so often - I get to leave the ironing board out, play with my video games a bit more, eat on the couch, etc. But I sure do miss her.

It also, sadly, brings up old childhood shit. I was always the last picked for dodgeball. OK, let me correct that - I was the "Oh no, we have Shelli on our team" left over... I always had to ask friends out to play, and the recprocity was limited. I am still scarred from those early experiences, no matter how self-affirming I may be.

So what does this do to me as an adult? I have a tendancy to always feel left out - at home, at work, with my friends, even when that isn't the intention. I'm working on not feeling that way, but it's HARD. So now, when I'm feeling especially vunerable, I admitted to Narda that I was feeling lonely on Friday night. Saturday, one of my best friend's little brother called; he lives in Brooklyn, and was looking to move to our neighbourhood, and wanted to come over. I was thrilled. So we agreed on brunch at our house Sunday morning. It was Pesach, so I went all out, and made potato latkes, and had to wake up Narda (who needed to sleep) to keep an eye on the doorbell, as I needed to hop in the shower. As I get out of the shower, my cell phone rings, and it's Nathan, having to cancel, as he had just woken up, and would love to see me another time.

For any normal person, that would be that, no problem, totally cool. For me on a normal day, totally cool. Sunday, however, I proceded to bawl my eys out in the kitchen while making Matzah Brie.

it's been a total "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll eat some worms" Kind of weekend.

Now I know and am grateful that I am blessed to be loved by some wonderful friends, and a great family, and a beautiful and fabulous partner, but it still hurts, in a very third grade kind of hurt, which is the worst kind of hurt, because it's so primal.