Tuesday, February 28, 2006

You knew it was bound to happen...

Duke of Earl

Duke, duke, duke,
Dookey girl, girl girl
Dookey girl, girl, girl
Dookey girl, girl, girl


As you walk through this world
Nothing can stop you now you’re the Dookey Girl
You, you are my girl
I love you, oh no

Duke, duke, duke,
Dookey girl, girl girl
Dookey girl, girl, girl
Dookey girl, girl, girl

Oh yes and I
Oh I love you, oh oh
So come on let me hold you darling
'cause you’re our Dookey Girl
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

And when I hold you
You are our Dookney-ness
Our Dookey Girl
We'll walk through your dukedom
Oh yes a paradise we will share

The songs we sing and the performance art we create to keep Malka entertained whilst on the changing table. We've been singing this one for a few days now, and it seems to work well to prevent the tears... And it sounds pretty funny, too.

Monday, February 27, 2006

The baby diet...

Wow - who needs weight watchers when there's a new baby in your house!

Narda and I have both lost about 5 or 6 pounds each since Malka came home. We were really bad and had fried chicken as a treat yesterday for lunch, and it just wasn't that great.

Lately, I'm preferring stuff I can grab and munch easily - and it's usually veggies and pre-marinated tofu. Or a frozen Amy's meal.

OK, we're off for our mid-day (hopefully to be a nap) walk.

I'll try to update more often, as we get more into a groove. because,of course, just when you think you've figured them out, they secretly communicate with all of the other babies and say "ok gang, time to switch it all up!"

Saturday, February 25, 2006

just one of many...

Poppe #3, originally uploaded by *Mirre*.

blessings and gifts from all around the world for Malka.

Thank you, Mirre!

(I simply had commented how lovely a different one was, and she went and made one for our daughter!)


Thank you everyone, we are overwhelmed daily with your kindness.

(and as soon as I can get a picture of her asleep with it, the blanket from Jen will make an appearance!)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Why 8 days?

In the middle ages, when infant mortality rates were high, and people did not know from vaccinations and proper hygine, they thought that the evil eye would take babies. It was then somehow decided that if the evil eye did not know the NAME of a baby, it could not find it.

From this information, the Jewish tradition of not telling the name of a baby, even to the baby itself for 8 days after birth became standard.

Since we did not have our daughter from birth, we chose placement day as day one.

Today is day 8.

My grandmother was a wonderful, kind, strong woman, and I miss her terribly. Narda's mother was a smart, strong, caring soul, who left this earth too soon. Our daughter's birth mother gave her a name as well, which will be a part of her always.

Our daughter is named after these strong women.

Malka Velma Angel (last name-last name)

Malka was my grandmother's name, and Velma was Narda's mom's name, and Angel is the name her birth mother gave her.

She is surrounded by strength and love.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


She's 15 pounds, and 24 inches long.


She's adjusting nicely to us, and us to her. We're still wickedly tired, and I PROMISE to post more, including her name tomorrow.

And pictures after the 3rd.

From About dot com:

At 2 months:

your child is 15 pounds, and that is
at greater than the 97th percentile for weight.

your child is 24 inches, and that is
at the 87th percentile for height.

your child has a head circumference of 40 inches, and that is
at greater than the 97th percentile for head circumference.


Monday, February 20, 2006

Oh carseat, how do I love thee, let me count the ways!

So yeah, still anxious - but it's getting better.

She slept from 9pm to 6am. STRAIGHT THROUGH.

We brought her into the doctor yesterday, to be told she's not sick (YEA!) (and, um, she now weighs 14.3 pounds!) But that she is a "reflux baby." The solution you may ask? ONLY 4 ounces per feeding (we were doing 6 - erp), keep her upright for 20 minutes after feeding, and she can SLEEP in her car seat. It helps to keep her upright, and acid from floating up into her little esophagus. In theory, this should all abate after 3 months, but let me tell you, as tired as I am, only waking up every 40 minutes or so to just peek at her and not have to hold, cajole and walk around with her makes a WORLD of difference.

We think she's settling into us, too.

OK, LOTS to do with this nap in place now. The least of which is shower. Um, I SO haven't done that since Thursday! I can't believe that.

One thing I have to keep in check is my communication with Narda. She caught me saying to our little snuggle-frog: "Maybe mommie will make you a bottle." When I should have just said: "Narda, will you make a bottle?" I broke myself of that nasty habit with the cats, and now the snuggle-frog will pull me into that horrible pattern too, and I MUST break it before it roots itself into my psyche.

OK. Coffee time, both of my girls are napping. I get one later. I have to go to work tomorrow - it's a mixed bag - glad to go in and get some stuff done, but not wanting to leave my girls. And to be honest, there is really something nice and magical about staying in one's jammies all day and taking random naps ALL DAY LONG.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

I can't believe I'm about to do this..

But I'm going to write about baby poop and congestion and the fact that our daughter is a GENIUS. a GENIUS, people.


I'm kvelling here - but I'm also wickidly anxious and mildly sleep-deprived. I feel better this am, as Narda let me sleep on the couch for a few hours, and Cougar peed and pooped, and So did our little motek (Hebrew for cutie-pie).

She (the baby, not the cat) has some congestion, and we, of course, freaked out. I realize that those mommies that get their babies "fresh" - aka from birth, get some time to get used to their babies. Our "baby boot camp" starts with a 9 week old.

But my anxiety levels always seem to peak at night, and be somewhat abated with the daylight.

We'll bring her in on Wednesday, and unless her congestion gets worse, just chalk it up to those things that babies get a lot of.

She's SUCH a happy easy baby. We haven't quite figured out the night time sleep thing yet, but she's getting better at it, and just took an hour and half nap, and had some GREAT dookies this am, too. In fact, I was changing her diaper, and with her knees up, she felt comfy to let the dookey keep on a comin. So she's REALLY happy now - I mean, after all, don't we ALL feel GREAT after a good dookey?

SO many fun nick names I can play with now using dookey. I'm sure she'll appreciate that when she's 15, and I call her my little dookey princess...

Oh yes, and the GENIUS part...

Our first day with her, we put her down on the Jimminy mat - the mat with the curved things that hang down, she just looked at them. WELL... yesterday, she grabbed for the giraffe. And she held onto it! GENIUS! AND, she found her thumb yesterday, too. It's amazing, I tell you. AND she gets cuter every day.

Now to be honest, we TOTALLY like her, and tell her how much we love her. But our first day, we were so overwhelmed, we were wondering if we could give her back. That feeling is fading, of course, and each moment that she snuggles into my chest and nods off to sleep, arms curled up just make me giddy with joy and love. Those moments are coming more and more.

Now if I can jsut get a handle on the anxiety I feel when she's a little sick. I KNOW I get anxious when Cougie is ill, and I never knew I could feel even MORE concern and angst. Until now. So I'm sure you can ALL imagine what last night must have been like with a non-peeing cat and a congested little girl. I went into anxiety overload. But then Cougie peed, and our little Motek napped and made dookies, and is not cooing at the Jiminy mat, being ever.so.cute.

Did I mention how HUGE she is? We think she's grown even more, and it's the 6-9 month clothes that fit her best. So she currently has 2 cute onesies that fit her, and all of the wonder-ific stuff that y'all sent will have to get passed onto House of Miao and Addition Problems - So get ready for a few care packages, lovely ladies!

OK, it's time for Eemah to have some time to make some dookies, so I will sign off for now.

I still can't believe I'm writing about our daughter. Wow.

I hope y'all don't mind. I will still write about the pain of infertility and the adoption journey, esp. as our SW will be checking in weekly, and coming to visit, and the three year long journey to get here, but for now, I'm distracted by cuteness!

And we'll share her name on Friday, Feb. 24th. It's an evil-eye thing...

Friday, February 17, 2006


I know that you, you lovely internets deserve to see more pictures, and they WILL come. We are waiting for March 3rd, however, as that is the date of the end of the 30 days - You know, just in case.

We are horribly superstious, and just don't want to jinx things too much.

But I promise to write more details about her, and she's taking her first LONG nap since being with us - THANK YOU CAR SEAT! We took an hour long walk around the block, and she's STILL napping!

We've had our first odd homophobic incident, but it was from a kooky neighbor that everyone hates anyway, so it rolled off of our backs. Most folks are thrilled and delighted to see her. One day she wasn'there, and now she is! And since we never really shared much info about her with our neighbours, it's been kind of funny to see everyone's reactions. Mostly wonderful, of course.

OK, Good Shabbos everyone, I'll be back sometime Sunday with some more updates.

to sleep, perchance to dream...

We have all survived our first night together. I think she really likes us, and EASILY has us wrapped around her little finger.

Narda is AMAZING. She let me go sleep on the couch for 5 (Yes, that's FIVE) hours! I feel like a NEW woman! They are both napping now, and I have to go tidy up and wash some burp cloths.

Her wonderful interim care worker got her hooked on the swing and TV, which we will evnetually break that awful habit, but, um, we might take a while to do that, because it can give us 15 minutes to go to the bathroom, etc.

More later, loads of stuff to do.

Wow. I woke up and realized, OMG - there's a baby in our house, and she's CUTE! And she's kind of easy-ish, once we figure out her routine and what she likes and doens't like. But um, there's a BABY in our house, and she's our DAUGHTER.

Holy crap!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

How many of you...

Stayed awake that first night watching to make sure they were breathing?

I see where the sleep deprevation comes in.

She had a difficult time getting to sleep. Then we swadled her. BINGO. Out like a light.

Now, I'm wastching her breathe...

Say hello to the internet, sweet little one...

Here you go - BASK in her cuteness!

We'll post more later - Narda's trying her first diaper change ever, and Quincy's in the car seat smelling it, having taken a nap previously in the crib, based on all of the cat hair in there... so we have a bit of activity to manage here.

But we just wanted to say THANK you for the years of support and love.

da crib

da crib, originally uploaded by shellipsm.

The stuff is set up - done FABULOUSLY, mind you by K and C, friends of ours, who totally volunteered their time to come and help out - you guys rock!.

I'm drinking some wine.

Narda says we can post ONE picture tomorrow on the blog. All future pictures will be on flickr for friends and family only. Flickr is easy to join, however, and just drop me a line to become a friend and family...


We may not get a chance to blog until LATE in the afternoon - we will be at the agency at 10:30am, and then we'll probably be heading home around 2ish, so I might not get on until 5pm or so.

I *might* get a moment to call cat at House of Miao or S at Infertility Sux (links on the side). So check in with them for earlier updates.

OK, off to finish my wine! *hic*

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

13 Pounds

That's 13 POUNDS. She's 8 weeks, 4 days old. They say she's happy and alert and doing really well.

They did not say adorable, and I totally go into the fear place of her being an ugly baby. Does it matter? no. Do I still have that fear? yes. Am I a bad person for that thought? I hope not.

But 13 pounds, people - she's HUGE!

We meet her tomorrow.

I can't wait!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


OK, so what do YOU do?

This afternoon, before heading out to have a lovely dinner with Conch and Ann, and their SCRUMPTIOUS daughter

and J and M and daughter Maya (picture to come later...), I stopped by my local Buck of Stars for a Venti Skim Cappuccino.

I thought it "looked" funny when I walked out, and only later noticed that I had moved the "sleeve"

To align with the green circle logo. And THEN moved the sipping portion of the lid to align with the sleeve and the logo on the cup.

And I realized that I do this all.the.time.


I was one of those kids that would let my room get messy, but G-d forbid if a friend would come over and move a tzchoke or book from its pre-assigned position on my dresser or bookshelf. I could not get over there fast enough to re-align said object.

Come to think of it, I still do that shit.

How about you? What little anal things do you do on a daily basis without realizing?

Monday, February 13, 2006


OK. Today is Monday.

Tomorrow is Tuesday.

After that is Wednesday.

And then it's Gotcha day!


Narda reports that the doorman laughed at her when she came home this am, saying that there were over 20 (that's twenty) packages for us!

Wow. Thank you lovely internets. You are amazing.

Soooooo sleepy!

OK folks, it's been an adrenaline filled week, I've been working non stop since January 14th, basically, and I have one more tour day, and I'm going to bed.

For the record, it's 9pm.

nite nite!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

the bookcases! (updated with a Quincy shot...)

And here's a Quincy close-up...

the bookcases!, originally uploaded by shellipsm.

A day late, so sorry, but this is for Photo Friday.

Our bookshelves in the living room - we LOVE them. We had them built by a friend, and he did SUCH an awesome job. They are even MORE full now.

And we had them done just in time, too. Part of the impitus behind getting them done was to prevent a little one who is toddling from using the free standing bookshelves to pull themselves up and possibly pulling them over...

These aren't going ANYWHERE! So we will just have to pick up books,and cover the shelves under the TV with mesh or something... (which will piss off Quincy, but he'll deal)

Friday, February 10, 2006

T minus...

7 days and counting.


OK, So I've gotten some flack for the no pink thing. If you want pink, bring it on, we are just so grateful for everything that has come our way, we are overwhelmed and so full of gratitude. I in NO way meant to offend anyone, I just am not the biggest fan of the color pink. But Narda is. So who am I to judge?

Thank you for all of the support (and packages, too - I'm a little afraid to go home on Tuesday and see the doorman's reaction!)

Thank you again, Truly Truly.

For some excitement, go visit Em! She's in labor! GO Em, and GO B for being a labor coach and a mommie to be too!

Monday, February 06, 2006

On the road again...

Today starts the Grad Acting Audition Tour. I had a great time last year, even though it was hard work, I was able to enjoy the hotel life, and being away in a different city. I realize HOW much I enjoyed working with the Flaming Idiots, as we were on the road a great deal of the year. I'm one of those nomadic souls. When I graduated from High School, I lived in Israel for over a year. I then moved to NY, and lived in Brooklyn whilst attending Kingsborough Community College. Then I moved to NY and lived in numerous apartments before transferring to Hofstra University out on Long Island to complete my Bachelors degree. Then I became the Wandering Jew in Manhattan, and I can honestly say that I think I've lived in almost each neighbourhood in NY before it became popular - Lower East side, Washington Heights, and now Harlem.

My work with the Idiots was the "perfect" touring schedule - We'd be gone for six weeks, home for a month, gone for a week, home for 8 weeks, gone for 3 weeks, home for a week, gone for 6 weeks, you get the picture. In the course of working with them, I got to see many cities and much of Canada. I loved it. Again, the work was hard, but I was able to enjoy the ride, none the less.

I realize how much I miss that. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job at NYU, and I'm not just saying that for anyone that might be reading from NYU, I actually love my job. And the fact that this is the longest I've been at ONE job says something. Having spent most of my life as a free-lance stage manager, and now having "settled down" for almost two years is remarkable. It's all so "grown up." So the fact that I get to "tour" with my current job is all the better for me. It gives me my old sense of being "on the road," and to be honest, the hotels are WAY nicer than they were in my "idiot days."

The REALLY wonderful thing about THIS tour? Narda will be there. She is touring for her school, doing design and tech interviews. We overlap most of the time, and get to stay together. Which will be really wonderful. We'll both be working like mad women, but we will see one another at the end of and beginning of the day.

And that, is a gift.

And when we return, we have one day left to get everything out of the storage unit and guest bathroom and prepare it for the arrival of our "tinoket" (Tee-know-ket) (Hebrew for baby girl).


When we first started this journey to become parents, in January of 2003, we had NO idea it would take this long. I feel like such a "road warrior," if you will. A survivor, and I SO envy all of you wonderful and beautiful men and women who had a shorter journey than we have. I AM a firm believer, however, that there are lessons from the universe that need to be learned, and Ha'Shem may let me live my own life as I see fit, but I still need to follow the master syllabus. The infamous "they" say that when THE baby meant for you comes into your life, you'll know. We SO realize that now. It's SOOOOO hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are still digging it yourself, with a spoon, Sisyphus like. But it IS there, and it is beautiful.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

the crib set we bought...

the crib set we bought..., originally uploaded by shellipsm.

So we actually BOUGHT things today. At a baby store. After three years, we have finally given ourselves permission to go IN one. And I know that many of you have asked for a wish list.

But we really don't need much! We bought a crib, crib set, dresser, changing pad, appropriate linens, a few articles of clothing (OH MY GOSH, THERE'S JUST WAAAAAAY TOO MUCH CUTE STUFF OUT THERE!) (We find ourselves leaning towards greens and blues and yellows); we also bought a car seat, a car seat holder, and we have a McClaren Techno XT and a back pack in our basement storage unit already, as was given to us by a friend about a year ago.

We have ordered diapers, Narda's best friend is sending all things needed to wash and clean a baby, creams and ointments and such, and we could basically use some of your used clothes - or go to a local thrift store and find something cute and retro!

I'm sure there's a lot we'll find we'll need, but there's also a lot of crap we won't need.
So go and raid those attics, and have fun doing so.

blessings and gratitude...

Now, as most of you know, we don't use the internets on Shabbat, but since we have to do a bit of on-line comparrison shopping for a few items, we made a wee exception. (insert big wide grin here!)

I received an e-mail today from a most generous soul who has offered her talented services at doing some quilt coordinating. Now if you had sent them directly to me, it may have taken me ages to piece the top together and do the quilting, and you, you wonderful lovely internets, would not have had a chance to see said finished quilt for QUITE.SOME.TIME.

Instead, I have been blessed with the gift of a free offer from a quilter (I'm in the beginning catagory, she's an expert) and so if you would like to send a quilt square for quilt for our daughter (EEK. We have a daughter!), please go visit this site: Quilt squares


We're still so.just.wow.


Friday, February 03, 2006

More great news

Our original faboo social worker, Nicole, has a doctor's appointment next week, and *might* get clearance to be at the placement ceremony on the 16th.

That would TOTALLY rock. I am SO crossing my fingers.

And since way too many of you have asked, I'll get a list up soon, I promise. Having spent so long NOT preparing for a baby, we are slightly overwhelmed realizing that we ARE actually preparing for a baby.

We went to Buy Buy Baby last night and began looking around and registering. There's SO much crap you really don't need at those stores. We spent WAY too much time looking at clothes, and not enough time looking at crib mattresses, but ah well.

I WILL tell you this - We were told today that she is a) a GOOD eater of Enfamil with iron, b) getting a *bit* too big for her pampers #2's, and we should buy #3's (what does that mean?) and c) she's outgrowing her 0-3 clothes, and we should buy 3-6 and 6-9 month clothes.

OK - and we're doing the DR Brown bottles.

One thing I WOULD love to get going is a quilt. One where you, the big wide internets, and family and friends, etc. contribute a square each. 7 inches square, leave 1/4 inch for seam allowance on all sides. (I got this idea from a FF'er, and LOVED it, so I'm TOTALLY copying you, Angela, hope you don't mind).

So I hope that's enough to get ya'll going. We really don't need much, and we'd be VERY into hand me downs - all the stuff from your goodwill piles, we'll be happy to take - boy OR girl clothes, or whatever, it doesn't matter. We're just SO grateful for all of the outpouring of love and support. That, in and of itself, is overwhelming.

So thank you. Truly and deeply.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

oh yeah


thank you.

you may now resume your regularly scheduled programme.

And um, since she's signed surrender papers, and told US not to worry (bless her heart), I am allowing myself a trip to that that scary place.with.paraphanelia.for.babies....

I'll report later. And I'll share more news later, too. I have a HUGE amount of stuff to do at work to get ready to be gone for the tour, and after. The faboo news is that both bosses are thrilled, and we'll all work out a game plan together.


And oh yes, we did not meet the baby today, we'll meet her on placement. Just fyi.

Thanks again, internets - your support has TRULY helped us more than you can even imagine!

Cribs and formula and babies, oh my!

Long story short, it was mutual adoration, we had a great time with V, and she signed papers TODAY.

We pick up our daughter on Thursday, February 16th.


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

sad distraction

My beloved cousin, Sara Cogan was hit by a car last night and passed away.

News link

Send your prayers and thoughts to Portland, Oregon.

I put a meat spoon in my yogurt!

I must be otherwise distracted for some reason... (ya have any thoughts as to why?!) :)

I just went to make my usual breakfast - a big 'ole plop of fat free or low fat organic yogurt, topped with my ww cereal - I LOVE IT!

And I went and grabbed a dang MEAT spoon. And used it. To scoop the yogurt out of the container.


I am going to be the mom that puts diaper ointment in the kids hair, thinking it's shampoo.


I think I was thinking about blogging about meeting V tomorrow (Birth mom's initial), and I just wasn't focusing.

Oh yes, and few asked about names. Well, we have a first and middle name picked out, but we won't share that with you until 8 days after placement, treating placement like birth, since there are no other markers to use. But V also has named her, so at our meeting tomorrow, we'll have to talk about all of that. We are totally OK with a PK (Potential kid) having 3 names, PLUS our hyphenated last names, too. Both Narda's and my last names have strong connections for us, so those stay, too. But it's a beautiful name, just trust us. It honors Narda's mom, and my grandmother, z"l.

Any and all "conversation topics" for tomorrow are welcome! OMG - TOMORROW. Holy crap.

I have to go poop.