Monday, February 06, 2006

On the road again...

Today starts the Grad Acting Audition Tour. I had a great time last year, even though it was hard work, I was able to enjoy the hotel life, and being away in a different city. I realize HOW much I enjoyed working with the Flaming Idiots, as we were on the road a great deal of the year. I'm one of those nomadic souls. When I graduated from High School, I lived in Israel for over a year. I then moved to NY, and lived in Brooklyn whilst attending Kingsborough Community College. Then I moved to NY and lived in numerous apartments before transferring to Hofstra University out on Long Island to complete my Bachelors degree. Then I became the Wandering Jew in Manhattan, and I can honestly say that I think I've lived in almost each neighbourhood in NY before it became popular - Lower East side, Washington Heights, and now Harlem.

My work with the Idiots was the "perfect" touring schedule - We'd be gone for six weeks, home for a month, gone for a week, home for 8 weeks, gone for 3 weeks, home for a week, gone for 6 weeks, you get the picture. In the course of working with them, I got to see many cities and much of Canada. I loved it. Again, the work was hard, but I was able to enjoy the ride, none the less.

I realize how much I miss that. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job at NYU, and I'm not just saying that for anyone that might be reading from NYU, I actually love my job. And the fact that this is the longest I've been at ONE job says something. Having spent most of my life as a free-lance stage manager, and now having "settled down" for almost two years is remarkable. It's all so "grown up." So the fact that I get to "tour" with my current job is all the better for me. It gives me my old sense of being "on the road," and to be honest, the hotels are WAY nicer than they were in my "idiot days."

The REALLY wonderful thing about THIS tour? Narda will be there. She is touring for her school, doing design and tech interviews. We overlap most of the time, and get to stay together. Which will be really wonderful. We'll both be working like mad women, but we will see one another at the end of and beginning of the day.

And that, is a gift.

And when we return, we have one day left to get everything out of the storage unit and guest bathroom and prepare it for the arrival of our "tinoket" (Tee-know-ket) (Hebrew for baby girl).

eek.

When we first started this journey to become parents, in January of 2003, we had NO idea it would take this long. I feel like such a "road warrior," if you will. A survivor, and I SO envy all of you wonderful and beautiful men and women who had a shorter journey than we have. I AM a firm believer, however, that there are lessons from the universe that need to be learned, and Ha'Shem may let me live my own life as I see fit, but I still need to follow the master syllabus. The infamous "they" say that when THE baby meant for you comes into your life, you'll know. We SO realize that now. It's SOOOOO hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are still digging it yourself, with a spoon, Sisyphus like. But it IS there, and it is beautiful.

17 comments:

Jen said...

You made CAIT cry. Now that's an acheivement. (Though she says every time she reads about your baby she cries.)

I can't believe you've been working there for almost two years! I remember when you started working there. In some ways it seems like an eternity and in some ways an eyeblink!

Can't wait for you to hold the light at the end of your tunnel! :)

Brooke said...

Shelli - so well put. We're just starting out on this crazy journey & already I feel myself freaking out at all of the unknowns. We've already suffered some disappointments, but have bravely picked ourselves up by the bootstraps & continue to soldier on. Your story gives me faith that things will happen, in their own time. Thanks for sharing your hopes, fears, set-backs, and this ultimate, wonderful joyous news. I look forward to reading all of the fabulous things you will have to share in this new chapter of your life.

Rebekah said...

Shelli, I didn't discover your wonderful news until just last night. Congratulations! I am so very happy for you. My heart has been with you as you've waited SO long and had your heart stomped on so many times. It is a blessing to see that your "light" is finally here.

What you said about there being lessons from the universe that need to be learned really spoke to me. I really believe that our experience with secondary infertility is happening for a reason. It might "just" be so I grow in my faith ... I don't know. But I trust that it's not just a pointless, meaningless torture session! (Speaking of which, would you please keep me in your prayers/thoughts as we go through some yucky fertility diagnostic testing tomorrow and through this month?)

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best! Blessings ...

Sophia said...

I can't cry at work...I can't cry at work...

I am so happy that you see the light at the end of the tunnel and soon very soon you will hold your baby girl in your arms.

May the Creator bless you all

Bekah said...

Shelli--

I, of course, was not going to say it, but I have been thinking what you said about the master syllabus and how it pertains to you and Narda. After the death of your beloved cousin, I KNEW your baby was coming, and I knew it was the little girl you are now waiting to pick up. All too often for it to be coincidence, a death and a birith are inextricably linked in my family. I knew that the pain of loss was going to be followed by the joy of arrival...

enjoy your road trip!!!

Anonymous said...

It's good to keep that in perspective - although so so so hard when you're digging the tunnel with a spoon, as you say. No matter what the situation it's SO hard. I'm so glad that the two of you and your little girl and her birth mother have all found the lights at the end of your tunnels. I'm thrilled for you and keep checking back to bask a bit more in your joy and to remind myself that every tunnel has an end - even if you can't see it or even conceive of it from where you are at present...

martha (inbedwithamosquito.net)

Heather said...

Wow! I missed a lot. I haven't been able to read my bloggies lately, as we're moving to our new house this Friday (that we've spent almost a year in the building process with) and still trying to sell our old house.

I can't believe I missed this fabulous announcement. I'm so happy for you guys!!!! Congratulations and sincere felicitations! If my sewing room wasn't all ready to be moved to the new house I'd be sewing quilt squares like mad!

Wow! Great news!

Cath said...

I am just so happy for you. Have fun and enjoy your time with Narda. Then hurry home and get your daughter. I totallyunderstand about the life lessons, I have felt that way so many times in this life.

Calliope said...

Just want to take a break from my own digging with a spoon to thank you for always, always being such a champion and encourager. So happy for you!!

wessel said...

Wow Shelli, I am just getting caught up on your entries and see the good news. Mazel tov! I hope that everything goes smoothly from here on out. Do you have an estimated date of arrival?

Jeannette said...

oh shelli, you made me cry. that was so beautiful!

Mama2Arden (Dora) said...

Beautiful Shelli.... and more wonderful is the journey as parents you and Narda will embark on in just a few days!
Dora

cat said...

Hope you have a great trip.

That tunnel has been dug and you are crawling out the end! Can't wait to hug you on the other side... I'm still crawling out behind you.

*hugs*

charlotte said...

You are absolutely a warrior. Your journey takes my breath away and I can't wait to hear about how much your love expands once you have your little one.

Julie said...

Shelli and Narda,

Mazel Tov and your wonderful news. I have been reading your journey for the past 2 1/2 years.

May you three have a most blessed life together.

Julie

AmyMrsR said...

I'm SO HAPPY for you both!Ray & I agree that sometimes the journey is for a reason. This little girl is going to be the sunshine in your life..I'm So excited!

Anonymous said...

Eeekkkkk!!!
Shelli and Narda-Bruce and the boys and I are so thrilled or you!! I've been a bad blog reader with Evan, Bobby and Will teething and trying all sorts of new things! There are so many wonderful things in parenthood! My unsolicited advice is to get as much sleep as you can now. Even after a long journey like you two had, sleeplessness loses its charm.
Dana (HalfBaD from FF)