Saturday, November 26, 2005

the sucky part of the holidays...

My dear friend "irl" (in real life) S @ Infertility Sucks! Has been through a LOT in her journey to be a mom. Like us, she and her husband have yet to actually achieve that goal.

Her latest post talks about dealing with life on a daily basis; her fourth holiday season with still no child, what her options were. I realized how similar we felt, and I wrote the following...





It IS a big, oozing, gaping wound that won't heal.

Time does help. Sean has a great idea - take some "you" time. Get away, stop the insanity, as that chick with the short white hair used to say.

And above all, don't make ANY decisions now, just be, and let the suckiness and joy of the holidays wash over you, and just get through them.

This Thanksgiving, Narda leans over to me and says, Yup, another one without a kid. It sucks to be us!

Yeah. It sucks to be us. There's NO taking that away.

But there are joyous and wonderful moments hiding in between the spaces of sadness. We just try to find more and more of them, and focus on that for now.

love you,
Shelli




It DOES suck big time, and there's no denying that. This is our third holiday season where we are not parents. We thought it would be so easy. How wrong we were.

So we look for those moments between the sadness, and I thank all of you for being a part of those moments.

And for THAT, I am thankful.

7 comments:

TheFatThinWoman said...

I understand every word you have written.. I have also lost and regained more than a hundred pounds in the course of the past two years, it just seems that sugar is creeping up in my diet, and the binges start all over...
I just wanted to encourage you and tell you that it is ok, we need to get back on track now...
You are loved, and you are not alone !

Faith

S said...

You're the best, girl...........

the BEST-thank you for holding me up-I needed that.

S

Jennifer said...

I am thankful that you are willing to share your journey with us. And I look forward to the day that you have the child you so want and can share that here too.

Sophia said...

Thank you so much for saying this and for all you write. Had a crappy 33rd birthday thinking I'm closer to that age where my eggs go SPLAT and the holidays are a little sad this year...

Sophia
2nd childless holiday

Catherine said...

Shelli, I just came across your blog. I know the IF fertility roller coaster sucks. We started ttc in December of 2000 and got pg in September of 2003. It is hard and the holidays make it worse. I hope that your miracle is just moments away. I know Robbie was concieved just when I was ready to throw in the towel.

cat said...

My sincerest hope and wish is that that wound will heal somehow someway and that you will both find your dreams come true.

*hugs*

Kristi said...

In between one of our moments of sadness is when we were surprised with our little blessing.

Yours is right around the corner.