Friday, August 05, 2005

closer still...

OK - So we will probably have a phone conversation with the Birth Mother on Monday the 8th - our SW will let us know later today or Monday morning.

We'll meet her in person on Friday the 19th.

She is due August 28th, but may get induced, we're not sure as to the full part of that.

She picked us on our profile alone, and is being sent our photo album via fed-ex.


I have NO idea what to say to her - our SW will of course, go over things with us, but some general questions weold be helpful.

The only real risk is her own desire to parent. Basically, the way NJ law works, is that the BM is not allowed to sign termination rights until 72 hours have elapsed after birth. But after she signs termination rights, that's it. it's final. We will pay to have the baby stay at the hospital for the extra day or two, as we would not want to bring her home, only to have the BM change her mind a day later. We'll try to be there for the birth, if the BM will allow it, and we'll have to stay in NJ while paperwork is being cleared - which would be for about 5 days or so.

The BM has a name that she has chosen, and we hope to be able to use it as a middle name. We had wanted to use my grandmother's name and Narda's mom's name, but time will tell, and who knows, after we;ve all had conversations, which way things will go.

So it all seems a go. We are still being reserved, but it's hard to when I have to e-mail my boss, the benefits offce and HR to ask questions and confirm FMLA, etc.





Lorem ipsum said...

I'm so excited and scared for you! Just focus on 'the day after.' Not the day of, but the day after everything, because then you'll look forward to having survived it.

This is so maddenly beautiful I can't stand it.



wow indeed.

cat said...

This is all really wow and wonderful honey. The 72 hr termination period is a good thing I'm so happy to hear that this is possible for you and not a month of fear and wondering after all this waiting.

How personal are you supposed to get with questions to BM? Do they provide you with some samples to guide you? I'm stumped on what kind of things would be appropriate to ask.

Stalking your blog to see this unfold. Hope the sun is fabulous in LA!

Heather said...

I triple the




I'm very pleased things are moving forward. This sounds very very good.

Anonymous said...

I'd want to know what she wants most for her baby, whether she'd want to have updates/ contact with you (of course - that depends on your comfort level with it), whether she can give a medical history of her family for future reference (but that might be a question for the social worker)... what the name is and why she picked it and whether she'd mind if you used it as a middle name instead. (not that she can really say no if she does give away the rights but I'm sure it would seem nice if you asked...)

I've got a million little questions and I'm sure the missus could come up with more too... and I'm sure people on ff will be helpful. Feel free to email if you want an ear...

martha (

Anonymous said...

OH Shelli, I am just so happy for you girls! I'm sure this is a happy, exciting, scary time for you and if you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know...I'm ALWAYS here for you.

You and Narda are in my thoughts and I am continuing to keep my fingers crossed for you. *smooches*


Trista said...

Oh Good luck, good luck, good luck!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I came here to see if all was ok because you have not been commenting on Junku's photos of Hime as of late LOL!!!

You have quite a bit happening! Exciting!! Wow...I am keeping you in my good thoughts that all goes just as you hope and wish it to go!!! Best of luck!!!