Life ramblings and the journey through adoption.
Have you read about this?
"While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her," the Commack couple said in documents filed in Manhattan Supreme Court. "It is simply impossible to ignore."
This poor, poor child! Her parents are basically suing a NYC fertility clinic because black sperm was used in an IUI instead of her white husband's sperm. I cannot imagine ANY parent saying that their child reminds them of a mistake every time they look at them.
If it were within my power, I'd have that child removed from that family for her own emotional health and well being.
I'm just sitting here with my jaw hanging open.
14 comments:
I am shocked. How could anyone say such a thing? That poor, poor child.
I can understand them being upset because the couple intended on using a known donor, which was Mr Andrews, and the clinic should have been more careful. I agree with the lawsuit, but I disagree with publicizing it.
Unfortunately, the mistake is made more evident by Jessica's race. Even the least "color-blind" among us would have suspected either the woman was fooling around on the side, or there was a mix-up at the clinic.
The most disturbing item in the article are these words, "We fear that our daughter will be the object of scorn and ridicule by other children, both in school and as she grows up," they said.
In my mind, to expect ridicule due to the child's race is evidence of the parents' bigotry, and that's what is most disturbing.
I feel deeply sad and concerned for this child who has been born to apparent racists. Perhaps someday she will file a suit of her own.
You are all totally taking all of this out of context. These parents have EVERY right to be upset with the error that was made.
they have every right to be upset that the WRONG sperm was used for IVF. ABSOLUTELY.
They do NOT, in ANY way, shape or form, have ANY right to speak about or treat their child in a racist or bigoted tone. Which is EXACTKY what they are doing. THAT is the point of my post, NOT that the RE's office fucked up.
did you ever watched that short lived (& horrible) NBC show Inconceivable? The very first scene was a couple watching their surrogate deliver their baby & the 2nd scene was a close up of their horrified faces when a black baby was presented to them. Obviously it is way fucking freaky to think of a fertility clinic effing up like that- but the sub context that they were freaking out over the baby's skin color was SO clear & SO wrong.
I'm with you on this one, Shelli. Yeah, ok, a mistake was made, now love your child, please. It's not her fault, and the amount of energy and anger and money spent on this will impact her life.
I'm with you on this too Shelli. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about your child...
my point being - they didn't say they don't love the child. They said they are reminded of the mistake the clinic made. That has nothing to do with their love for this child.
Of course they are reminded of the mistake. It's massive error. Just as massive as it would be if a black couple ended up with a while baby, or japanese with a black baby etc etc... It's not the race they chose to have.
Not sure where & why this needs to be turned into a racist issue? I'm also not sure where it states that they are bad parents to this child?
To state that because they are upset that this mistake was made that the child needs to be removed from the home is absurd. They obviously had fertility issues, they've obviously been thru a lot on their own to then turn to IVF. To then be given a baby that is not their biological child that they planned for has to be extremely life shattering. That is clearly all they were trying to get across in their statement.
If they went to court and said "oh we're just happy to have a baby finally" how would that ever help their case against the clinic?
Seens that by blogging about this you are twisting the issue to turn it into something that it is clearly not.
i saw this on fertility friend and pretty much hope their kid NEVER has to read or hear the that quote. it's disgusting.
Linda - please point out where in the article they say they DO love their child?
Also, please think of the child for a moment. Imagine her experiences of her parents going to court, reading articles and seeing that her parents said she's a "mistake." CRUEL, CRUEL, CRUEL.
Why are they waiting until NOW to sue the fertility clinic? She is clearly a full grown child now, no longer a baby. The child has full ability to comprehend the media circus, and her parents should be protecting her from that, not tossing her into the middle of it.
And lastly, Linda, thank you for sharing your opinion, I appreciate that. I'm not sure as to who you are, as I don't know you, but I can tell you that for me, as Jewish lesbian, who has a African-American partner and a African-American daughter, that I might have a bit more (sadly) of a direct understanding of racism and bigotry, and am a little more "attune" to it than you may be.
And I simply cannot look at the words these parents are saying in reference to their daughter as anything other than painful for the child. They HAVE used the wrong words, and I wish you could see that.
UH UH..WTF do you say?!?! I'm speechless
I think the comment they made stating that they love Baby Jessica as if she were their own is key here... It separates the child. Makes it not theirs. The issue of race compounds this for them, or rather the issue of the clinics mistake which is obvious through the issue of race.
It's a slippery slope. May they come to some peace with this and find a way to see that this baby is their own, regardless of what mistakes transpired.
So I guess if this happened to any of you, you'd just brush it under the rug and move on.
I like to see that happen.
Probably will happen the same time gays and races other than white start realizing that it's not always about them.
Ah. We finally get to the crux of it all.
I didn't realzie that "those gays and colored folks" thought it was all about them.
Thanks for enlightening me, "Linda." (hmmm, I'll have to go look up your isp and see if that's who you really are...) I honestly didn't think that out and out biggots still existed. You have proved me wrong.
And for what it's worth? I've had a FAR TOO LONG experience with fertility clinics to know that if it happened to me, I'd be PISSED, in fact, it almost did.
But that's not the point of what I wrote.
I was writing about how the parents are treating the child.
NOT about the case. Please notice this. I'm concerned for the kid. I support the case, or any case for "wrong sperm used in ivf."
I DO NOT support parents treating their children the way these parents have.
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