Life ramblings and the journey through adoption.
My theme song.
Malka started daycare this week - it's AWFUL! She cried and screamed, and cried and screamd non-stop for the first two days. Then the reports were: "She screamed less." Yesterday, when we brought her in, it was 7:45, and she was one of the first kids there. Since her highness was up from 5:30am, I sat on the floor, played with her for a bit, and she gave all tired signs, so I put her down in her crib, hoping htat her little usual 15 minutes of fussy protest would be over by 8:05 or so, before the other kids arrived. She started screaming, and her voice was HOARSE. She had screamed herself hoarse on previous days! RIP.MY.HEART.OUT!
But she quieted down, and fell asleep. When we picked her up at 4:45 or so, her caregiver said she had a great day and didn't cry, except when she was hungry. (um, our kid, NOT cry? haha, but tell us that if it makes YOU feel better, lady).
She only wimpered for a few minutes this morning, and then was playing with some of the toys, and looking at the other kids. She twisted around to look out the observation window, and I ducked down quickly. She then turned around and kept playing.
I KNOW this will get easier. But I have such high expectations for myself as a parent, that it seems as if no one comes close to that standard. I just have to trust that she is being given a decent amount of attention and care. I'm not sure if she's napping as much as they say she is, but I have no choice but to trust them on that. She's doing OK otherwise, and is eating (which is a good thing), and interacting with the other kids.
I'm hoping to be able to slowly start to ask them to do things that encourage her motor skills, since she's a big baby, she's a bit behind in all of those moving things. She's quite a talker, however, and we have regular conversations including the words da da and la la and tza tza and pfffffttttt and she's bustin out a new tooth on top, so she now has 3 things to pierce my fingers when she puts them in her mouth. She's really progressing as a little person, and she's found her snuggle, which is SO special and wonderful. It's a special snuggle just for Narda and I, usually when she's tired, she'll burry her head into your shoulder. She clearly recognizes us as her parents, and it's wonderful. I wish I didn't have to leave her every day. But since I haven't won the lottery, and we are a "working class family," we have her in the best daycare we can afford.
I AM, to be honest, worried about the fact that she'll be 8 months old next week, and isn't crawling yet, or rolling from back to front; but it's not for lack of effort. She wiggles all over, and can propel herself in a circle and do a backwards scoot, but we're not sure if she's aware of the fact that she's actually travelling. She WANTS to move, she TRIES to move. She's 28 inches long and 26 pounds. That's practically the size of a 2 year old, and I SWEAR, we're NOT overfeeding her - in fact, she only gets 24 ounces or so per day (doctor's orders, but she's fine with that), and lots of healthy, fiber-full veggies, and lean meats, ALL organic! She also gets all of the water she wants, up to about 6 ounces per day. I puree most of the food I can, and we buy organic jars for all of the other stuff. She does get whole milk yogurt, and avacado is one of her faves, but they are healthy fats. We DO NOT, (contrary to the opinion of people on the street) feed our child fried chicken and grits, thankyouverymuch. She's a Kosher Organic baby. I know all babies do things in their own time, and she's probably fine, but I can't help but worry, as both her doctor's concerns, and the evidence of ALL of the babies her age in daycare prove otherwise...
18 comments:
So glad to hear that daycare is going better! Malka is doing so great. Some kids just keep their mommas waiting for those physical milestones, but then they'll do things with a sureness that tells you that it's their "right" time.
Shelli, Julia didn't crawl until she was 10 months old. She scooted around on her butt, but didn't crawl. She also didn't roll over until a couple weeks after she started crawling. In fact, I had to teach her how to roll over. Of course, I'd been trying to teach her how to roll over for months, but 10.5 months is when she finally got it...
Have you read Shannon's posts on Nat's development over at Peter's Cross Station? If not, you might go check those out.
8 months is not old to not be crawling and it's very possible that the pudge is getting in the way of rolling. You know she's not going start kindergarten not knowing how to roll and crawl and walk and climb and all that!
however, I understand your concern. see if you can get her evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. try Early Intervention. she may qualify for free physical or occupational therapy. and even if she doesn't, your PCP may be able to refer to her a PT or OT, if you can afford the co-pays.
Personally, I think every baby can benefit from a little one-on-one with a professional.
Our little Niblet *just* started rolling over 2 weeks ago - and she's been crawling for over a month! And she's 15 months old (12 adjusted for preemie status). she's been getting OT for almost 6 months and it's been The Way and The Light for her.
She's on track to walk in a month or so and that's within the average range!
How about that for a baby who was born 3 months early with drugs in her system?
So anyway, check out the EI option. Assuming, of course, that you actually want Malka to crawl and roll soon...it's been pretty helpful for Niblet to be immoble for so long. ;)
Thank you lovely women for sharing this. Even though "in my head" I know things are just fine more or less; but because I'm in such a heightened state emotionally from the whole daycare drama, I'm all verklempt reading your replies!
a hundred hugs to all of you,
Shelli
Sam was a big baby and never crawled until after he walked. Our pediatrician told us there is a trend that babies don't crawl much anymore because they spend less time on their tummies with the whole Back to Sleep thing. She'll probably just pull herself up to standing one day and then you'll long for these days. :o)
*Puts on Developmental Psychologist hat*
Also - you should know that sometimes babies do one thing at a time, develomentally speaking. You said she is talking and babbling a lot? It is possible that she is going through a lot of cognitive & linguistic development right now and therefore not as determined to get around independently. And bigger babies often take a bit longer to develop the muscular strength they need to crawl/roll over/walk. Try not to worry.
Sounds like Malka is doing great! Her daycare nightmare should be just about over. As a former daycare person, I can say that most children (I worked with infants) stop crying very shortly after their parents dropped them off. Just enough so that they get in a little bit of guilt. ;)
Bobby didn't crawl until after he turned 1. So I totally understand your concern. We did get early intervention (in fact all 3 are getting help). Don't know what the rules are in NY, but here in NJ the inital very thorough assessment was free. The therapy is on a sliding cost scale.
She is just so lucky to have two mommies who love her so much!!
Hey Shelli-
Evelyn just started daycare fulltime this week and had pretty much the same experience as Malka. Note to self: don't start daycare when your baby is cutting her first two teeth. Lots of tears and tylenol, and thankfully each day was better.
As for the crawling, Evelyn is 2 days older than Malka and not crawling yet either. Her brother didn't until 9mos. Besides, it's not considered a milestone. And I wouldn't be overly concerned about the rolling because of her size. Sounds like you're growing a beautiful, healthy baby girl!
Everyone comments on Natalie's size, and we're not even close to introducing solids yet. She's probably 18 lbs. and 25-26 inches now (exact figures to come after her 4 month appt). She's outgrowing 3-6 month clothes. (in fact, Jean tried to pass on two of Evelyn's outfits yesterday, and she's probably already too big for them). We had to move her up a size in her overnight diapers (fuzzi bunz for you CDers out there) because her chunky thighs won't fit in the small ones anymore. She's perfectly wonderful and happy and healthy, just like Malka. It's hard to trust that, though, when you're constantly hearing comments that make you question it. I try to answer every, "Wow! She's HUGE!" with "yes, she's a very healthy baby." And for the most part, I don't worry about it. Someone's got to be on the big end of the growth curve (or off of it, as the case may be). Malka is thriving, and you and Narda are wonderful moms.
Oh, and I also tell people that my nicknames as a baby were Piano Legs Lastname and The Goomba. I was huge. And I'm pretty average now. Babies just grow in different ways.
Things will get better, I promise. I know how hard it is being that Gillian was in daycare until she went to school full day. Sucks. But they (and we) get over it and are just fine!
My daughter was one solid chunk, and I was sure that she was never going to "slow down" but she has. I always fed her healthily, and yet, people just assume that you are overfeeding, and giving them junkfood... but my daughter is the only 2 year old I know, who begs for brocolli in the morning, and loves salads for dinner. I blame the formula, in the beginning I tried to breastfeed, but we had so many issues ( jaundice, milk never coming in etc) that she was a ravenous formula consumer, taking up to 36 plus ounces a day, and weighed 30 lbs at 12 months, and 38 at 8 months... now she is growing longer and leaner, her chunky folds are disappearing, and her face is becoming more angular.. etc, and weighs about 37 lbs 37 inches at 2 yrs 3 months.
Malka will be fine... all of the healthy things that she is eating now are the true foundation of her future, and all that matters is that she is being exposed to lots of wonderful healthy organic options and developing a good relationship with fruits and veggies and lean protein. She will be fine.. in time.. and oh boy, she is sooo adorable! cherish those chubby little legs and arms and cheeks while you can, cause they turn into long lanky toddlers literally overnight.
oops i meant 38 pounds at 18 months !
oh honey- I can't even imagine how hard it is to hear Malka crying at day care. ouch! I hope, with time, it gets easier.
Mom tells me that I didn't express any interest in crawling or moving for quite some time. I actually didn't walk until I was around 13 months! Mom says people kept carrying me & I just saw no point in it. go figure!
I happen to think Malka is perfect & adorable and brilliant.
My doctor and I just talked about the growth curve and breastfed versus formula fed babies.
Bigfella, as we know, started out life big, and is now finally within the range of "normal" on the curve.
Formula babies (according to my doc) keep gaining until they are a year, and then begin to thin out, while booby babies pack on the pounds for 6 months, and then thin out after that. Formula doesn't change with each month of development the same way breastmilk does.
Obviously, Malka is the weight Malka is going to be.
And, about the movement. Don't worry. My nephew was almost 11 months before he crawled and didn't walk until 14-15 months.
And, the daycare. Oy. I understand the daycare. My boy is there now, and I am fighting the urge to get in the car and go get him. (Today is trial day, so I am home twiddling my thumbs while he meets everyone...)
It will get better for Malka, and, most importantly, for you!!
Wow can't believe she is going to be * months already!! I hope that thing with daycare are easier for you this week. How is your new job going??
HAPPY KITTEN APPRECIATION DAY
I don't really remember when Charlie started crawling (dons the bad mommy hat) but he was probably around 8 months. Okay, maybe not. I don't remember. But he's still not walking and really not interested in it.
As for the size, well... you've seen him. He's enormous. And he got nothing but breast milk until about six months, then about 80% breast milk and the rest neocate or vivonex. Only at 11.5 months did we start feeding him solid foods, and even now he barely gets that. But he's still huge. Some kids are big. You're not overfeeding Malka. You're feeding her as much healthy food as she wants, which is how we all should eat! She'll turn it away when she's not hungry anymore. Even Charlie, the eating champion, pushes food away when he's done.
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