She's in labor

Why do they always go into labor early?!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So our FABOO social Worker, Nicole, calls from her cell phone, saying that the birth mother left a message for HER SW that she was in labor.

next step? We wait to hear from OUR SW, to see if one of the following will happen:

1) She wants to parent (NOT such a worry for us, as she is 34, lives with a roommate, and is set on an adoption plan - UNLIKE the August situation, where she was 16 and WANTED to keep the baby, but her mom only relented in the hospital, after birth...)

2) She wants to look at other options for parents (A HIGH Probability, and what we fear)

3) She will want to move forward with us. (Ayieeeeeee! - Exciting and terrifying at the same time...)



A part of me thinks that maybe had Narda and I been in NY in August, instead of California, and that IF we had met with Tiarra, that she may have had a visual image of the potential parents for her child, and that it may have made it easier for her to go forward with an adoption plan, instead of parenting herself. But I know deep down that that is not true. The thoughts still come, however...

I know I cannot live in the "what-if's," it leads nowhere. But now I fear that since THIS Birth Mother has not met us, that perhaps it's the same thing - we get a call, birth mother goes into labor early, decides to parent.

It is a fear, only because it is what we know, it is our experience.

Ultimately, we know nothing, and are waiting - we were resigned to it "not" happening, but now, hope is knocking on our window... and of course, I'm afraid to let her in.