Life ramblings and the journey through adoption.
I LOVE reading the naked ovary - she's funny, going through adoption herself, and real.
And her website is well layed out and fun to read.
She posed a question today about "background checks" - go read it, it's a good one - the upshot being, since those of us adopting have to go through such a serious process just to be considered eligible to adopt a child, she poses the question of: "Should bio-parents" have to do the same?
It might make you giggle at first, but seriously. Why not? Why not have pregnant women and their mates (those that want to parent) do a modified version of the adoption process - go get fingerprinted, have to fill out a bit of paperwork, just to make sure they are on the up and up, you know? Now of course, there are many ramifications, and I'm NOT a fan of increased government interference in my private life, but I'm kind of intreigued by the thought of further child-protection policies in place, you know?
What do you think? Go read the Naked Ovary and share your opinions here and there, as well.
7 comments:
hmmm..........that's a mixed question, isn't it? In one sense, you can't control one's body-look at China, with the tons of baby girls either in orphanages or, even worse, killed, to try to control the population. But, then again, it would save other babies from horrible lives.....
But, if they did that (background checks for bio-parents), then wouldn't that make the whole concept of adoption obsolete? What about unplanned pregnancies-if they didn't "pass" would the government have the right to take the baby away from their bio-parents?
Sigh....it's a two sided coin...
Did you ever see the movie "Parenthood"? There's a scene where Dianne Wiest and Keanu Reaves are in the kitchen discussing fatherhood, and he said that you need a license to drive a car, to get a gun, hell, to have a dog, but any butt-munching asshole can be a father.....it just hits home to me.....
Okay, enough blathering.....
Perhaps bio parents should at the very least all have to complete a free course on parenthood. Something more than just birthing classes. Something that is offered at hospitals and local colleges that talks about the responsibilities of parenthood, the challenges. Something that includes open discussions on these things and more. It doesn't have to be a pass/fail thing but anyone who is pregnant should have to at least take it. Yeah a lot of people wouldn't but a lot would and perhaps it would help just a tiny bit in preparing parents for the awesome responsibility of parenthood. Like a homestudy maybe.
It's just a thought.
As a single gal trying to do this via DS I feel like I get questioned ALL the time. My primary care doctor wants to discuss it, my RE wants to make sure I am ok with this choice...not to mention my friends & family that feel that my choice is up for debate.
It IS terribly frustrating to see people get knocked up so easily & those of us trying to be deliberate parents in maybe a non-conventional way have to do a song & dance to show how capable we are.
This is such a hard thing. I've said for so long that if a woman (or man) hurts their child, there should be a way to keep them from reproducing again...but like you pointed out, we dont want the government in charge of our reproductive rights.
This is all along the same lines. It's hard.
How would you police that though? Really? If someone fails the test, what?
I do agree that parenting classes should be mandatory... but beyond that, I don't think there is anything more that could be done.
PS- I love her too
I think with the number of foster parents and adoptive parents who turn out to be abusive after all those checks, that a homestudy is not going to determine who is a good parent. Someone can be a mafia head and be a good parent, and someone else can be lilywhite on paper and be the most emotionally abusive SOB in private with their own child. And it seems that reproduction is one of the most basic rights a living organism can have. What's the point of having a choice right on abortion, if you have no choice right to keep a child you want? Dang.
ok, it is a loaded issue, but really. All that would happen is that there would be more lost rootless children bogging down the child protection, being moved from one foster home to another, with all the emotional and other disastrous results that ends up having on kids who aren't even damaged at birth. Frightening. Frankly, it would be like China. Just for different reasons. 'unfit parents" instead of "one too many pregnancies".
Thanks for this post, Shelli. I'm so pleased that you like my site. It really means a lot to me during this time.
Karen/ Naked ovary
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