Saturday, August 13, 2005

she has decided to parent

What more can be said. Her SW called me just now and told me the news.

We'll keep you posted as to the next one.

44 comments:

Robyn said...

There are no words...I am so sorry.

Beth from FF said...

I'm so sorry Shelli. Thinking of all of you.

Hopefull from FF said...

SO so very sorry. ((hugs))

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. It makes me upset to think that this child will either depend on her parents and/or depend on Government assistance to raise this child. Why did they even think it was a good idea to co-sleep with this child? Dumb, dumb, dumb. I hope she stops having sex, gets a job, and moves away from her family so SHE can raise what she has created. Errr. I'm sorry you ladies are not going to be the one to raise this child. It would have been the best thing to do for this child. It's all about the baby and feel the young girl is being selfish and is looking out for how she feels not what's best for the baby. Another baby will come for you to embrace.

jenhen said...

Aw damn. I wish I knew what to say.
I am so sorry.....

Ugh..

S said...

fuck fuck FUCK!!

God, this is horrible-I am so sorry.

Call me if you need to talk or vent or rant or rave....I'm here for you(PM me on FF and I'll forward my home #, if you want).

Amymrsr said...

There are no words that I think will help. A HUGE cyber hug for you both..
:(

Amy

Lurker (Lala) from FF said...

Now we are hurting for you and Narda...
It shouldn't be this way!!
Know that you have so many people thinking about you guys and I hope that you can somehow feel our love and prayers.

Brooke said...

I know this journey has been so hard and long for you. You are handling this whole thing with so much grace. I hope the birthmother made the right decision for her and the baby.

And I will keep praying you get your child soon.

HoosierMolly said...

Damn it!! Shelli, I'm so sorry! Take care of yourself and Narda right now....

Lorem ipsum said...

God. My heart breaks for you........................

And I do hope that she decides to 'Parent' and not just 'parent.'

Sigh.

So very, very sorry.

Becky from ff said...

Damn, not the news I was hoping for :(

Heather said...

I'm so sorry. Words can't even express how sorry.

betty said...

Oh life can be so unfair. Sorry

Juli (FF) said...

I am just ticked off...no pissed off. I can't believe this...I'm at a loss for words. While I want to be sensitive to the birth mother's heartache and tough decision, I am so much more hurting for you two. I just know you're time will come, and I hope it's sooner rather than later. Wishing you peace...

austnsstpmom said...

I'm sooooo sorry! There is nothing I can say other than we are all here for you and to send you both the biggest hugs every. :-(

Anonymous said...

Shelli and Narda, I am SO sorry. I've been checking for updates and hoping for the best....my heart dropped when I read this.

Take care of yourselves. You will be mommies, the right baby just hasnt been born yet.

*hugs*

Dee

Anonymous said...

So sorry... don't even know what to say. I can only imagine how hard this must be for both of you. If there's anything we can do please let us know...

martha (of Alex and Maya FF and mosquito) and Alex

Trista said...

I too, have been checking for updates, and feel sick thinking about the emotional rollercoaster ride you two have been on. Cold comfort now, but your turn WILL come.

You are in my thoughts. I hope there is some peace for you in the coming days.

Kate said...

Oh...I'm so sorry. (((Shelli & Narda))) Jeez. No words for you, just lots of tearful hugs. :(

cat said...

Shelli and Narda... I'm thinking of you today and so sorry that you have to be dealing with the sadness and loss of this right now. I understand how damn hard this all is and send you both love and hugs and support.

I'm here if you need me and off on Mon. Tues. (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

Shelli and Narda

Anonymous said...

Shelli and Narda,
Bruce, Evan, Bobby and Will and I just wanted to send out (((hugs)))!
We are so very sorry that this happened!!!!!!!
Dana

Cait said...

So, so sorry Shelli. I wish there was something I could do to make it all work out, or at least to make you feel better. Feel free to call, email, anything...

C&J

Kim said...

Oh no. Shelli and Narda, I'm so sorry. I will keep you both, the BM and the baby in my prayers that this is the right decision. Your baby is out there. S/He will find you soon. I know it is little consolation right now, but you have people across the globe pulling for you...

much love

Sara said...

I have no words...there are no words...

'Sorry' is such a crappy, insufficient word.

You are both in my heart.

Anonymous said...

Deeply sorry for your loss and will pray for healing of your hearts and that your arms may so very soon be full...

dawn said...

Shelli and Narda,

I am so sorry. I know how much you really wanted this to work and only hope that you will both be parents soon. We are here for you if you need us. I am sending support and prayers your way.

Dawn (FF)

Lori_MI from FF said...

Shelli - so, so sorry for you and Narda. I hope you two can lean on the support from your friends all over the world to get you through. I know there's another little baby out there about to come into this world that will love you for the parents you're meant to be!

Jessica said...

Oh Shelli, I'm so sorry. I'm at a loss for words but you and Narda will be in my thoughts.
I saw that you lost your IM list, add me back- JezzabellNY, and if you want to talk, vent or anything I'm here for you.

Anonymous said...

It has been said before but there are no words to even begin to express our sadness for you. Large hugs from MA.

Dora & Erin

Heatherg said...

Shelli and Narda,

I am truly sorry.
My heart just fell this morning when i read this. I just wanna run to you and hug you both.

cathy said...

I can't even tell you how upset I am for you. I was logging in last night to see how things were coming along and I didn't even know what to say. My heart sank and I was crushed to hear this... we have a nephew who really should have been given up for adoption and seeing you two wait just makes that all the more real for me! At some point the universe has to turn in your favor, right?!?!!! Be good to each other!!!! (((hugs)))

cathy said...

I can't even tell you how upset I am for you. I was logging in last night to see how things were coming along and I didn't even know what to say. My heart sank and I was crushed to hear this... we have a nephew who really should have been given up for adoption and seeing you two wait just makes that all the more real for me! At some point the universe has to turn in your favor, right?!?!!! Be good to each other!!!! (((hugs)))

KarenUK from FF said...

Shelli honey - there are no words. I am so incredibly sorry. My heart is with you and Narda.
((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
Karen

Tamsin from FF said...

You must both be heartbroken to receive such devastating news.
So sorry that you've lost another baby.

vixanne wigg said...

Shelli,
I'm so sorry. I didn't realize what was going in your life (reminds me to link to you...). Such happy news and then such sad news. I am so sorry you're going through this. :(

wd from ff said...

Shelli and Narda - hugs to you both. This little girl is missing out on two wonderful parents. Take time to grieve, but kepe your chins up. You will be mommies!!

Care said...

So sorry Shelli and Narda. I hope you can bring your forever baby home soon. {{Hugs}} ~CarolynG

Ledi (Singapore) said...

Shelli & Narda, I am so sorry. Sending you big hugs. Ledi

tryinghard said...

Shelli and Narda, I am from FF , but I don't post much on the donor site. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I have always followed your story and was elated when I ready you were chosen and the baby was here. I truley am sorry and pray there is another perfect match for you and the this will be your baby. hugs and kisses.

shannie from ff said...

Well crap. I am so sorry hon. That just sucks.

Shan

Laura from ff said...

Oh Shelli and Narda I am so sorry that truly sucks! I am here for you guys please let me know what I can do for you.

cluttergirl said...

I am just backwards-reading your story now. How incredibly heartbreaking for you. So so so hard. I don't know how I am going to manage to deal with such things myself, as I am sure as a fosteradopt candidate I will, probably more than once.

On the other hand, read some of these comments, and am a bit appalled by the charges of selfishness etc re the birthmother and their family. For heaven's sakes, it is HER baby, and her mom was even there at the birth, so she is supported. My cousin got pregnant out of wedlock (such an archaic phrase, but apt for the harassment she got), and she was bullied, put down, told she was irresponsible, selfish, cruel, not thinking of the child etc to keep the baby and not put it up for adoption. Her parents were always there for her. She was on welfare for the first couple of years, but after that has been independent and employed. Her son is now a much loved part of the family at 15 yrs old, with doting aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. It is boggling to think that she *should* have given up her baby to a "better" "richer" "coupled" family.

So, yes, I too am hoping for a baby. Hoping that I will be considered a good parent for a child. But fully understanding that means a child will be ripped out of their family forever. I AM understanding from what I read that you are going for open adoption? I do think that's better in that the child can still have a relationship with extended family, birthmom etc. But how heartbreaking it is to lose a promised adoptive baby... it must be so so so hard to give up a baby you have carried in your body, the descendent of your parents and grandparents, into someone else's care forever, unless you really really do not care about it.

I wish for you healing and then the right baby that needs you, and a birthmom who really is happy with her choice.