um, Wow.

I had SO many titles for this post in my head, but they all involved massive nasty swear words.

I just wish that the "come backs" would come to me DURING, and not 5 minutes later.

Malka and I were walking home from daycare, and having our usual smiling encounters with the locals. So it didn't surprise me when this one "lady" said: "Oh, who's baby?" I said: "Mine." And smiled. She then said: "No, who's the mom?" And I looked at her somewhat quizzically, and said: "me." She then said: "No, I mean, who's the REAL mom?" And I looked at her, and said firmly, "I AM her REAL mom." She then said: "Yeah, I bet," and walked away, as I pushed Malka in the other direction.

It was all I could do not to cry right then and there. I mean seriously? What the hell? SO many emotions and reactions sprung forth into the chasm of that exact moment. "Will Malka have to answer such idiot questions when she's older?" "How do I shield Malka from the hatred that we had just experienced?" "WHO in the hell does she think she is?" " I AM her REAL mother, dammit!" And the inevitable Lifetime Movie script started laying in my head: "Who got up with her 30 million times during the night when she was a baby?" "Who changes her diapers, loves her, feeds here, is there for her, IS her 'REAL' mom in every sense of the word?"

I mean, I KNOW that I'm her "real" mom, and I KNOW that that woman was all of the nasty words I can think of, but it still hurt. I know that we live in NYC, and are BLESSED to have not encountered such hatred before, when so many of you probably have already. It's just horrible.

chirp, chirp...

I know, I know, I'm SO remiss on posts, I'd be surprised if anyone's still around.

A lot going on, just not much time or energy to blog these days. I haven't forgot about you amazing internets, I've just been a bit swamped.

I actually CALLED, as in, on the phone - spoke to a good pal of mine who's been having a run of the yuck and the suck lately. Just because I was thinking about her. Feel free to go send her some sugar, m'kay? And um, maybe some shoe coupons, because we promised each other to go shoe shopping soon!

Did I mention that my 20, as in TWENTY year High School reunion is this summer? Thanks to Facebook, I've reconnected with a lovely handful of folks that I quite enjoyed, but never stayed in touch with. It also amazes me that some of the people that made fun of you, or teased you, or were general little shits are actually pretty nice people once they get a few years away from the walls of High School. I guess that applies to most of us, actually.

I'm still not sure if I can go or not, because well, there's that whole "how many days of work vacay do I have left?," and "I'm trying to plan a trip across the pond to see Amy," and of course, the "oh yeah, right, I work for a Synagogue, and the end of August is WAY too close to the Chagim to even think of leaving my desk" time of year... SO time will tell. If I can sneak away for the weekend, we'll see.

So in the interest of quantity, not quality ;) I present you with the following meme - I stole it from Insane Animals - feel free to do the same:

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
* Debt that is above the norm - still paying off stupid debt.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
* Sardi's

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
* Nope.

4. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most?
* Doesn’t really apply.

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
* I would have played more sports, kept up with dance, and other healthier lifestyle choices earlier on - oh yeah and NEVER started smoking!

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
* Mrs. Somebody - ACK. Dark, short hair, I can picture her, but not remember her name (I'm a right brained person, you see...) ;)

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
* Sleeping in my comfy bed, no disturbances from 4 or two legged creatures.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
* An actress.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
* 2.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
* It’s clean and it fits.

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
* Suckas! We don't own a car, and use public transportation.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would it be?
* Move my family back to Portland. Or Chicago. Chicago is fun.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
* Is it 6:30 already?

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
* Try to get up on time.

14. Do you miss being a child?
* Sometimes.

15. What errand/chore do you despise the most?
* Doing the dishes.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
* Yes.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
* Sleep in whenever they let me.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
* Snoopy.

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
* Cuddle up and sleep.

21. Have you found real love yet?
* I think I have.

22. When did you start feeling old?
* When I could relate to sciatica.

24. Your favorite lunch meal?
* Enchiladas.

25. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
* NOTHING. Made FOR children, BY children.

26. Beach or lake?
* Either is lovely.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
* Nah, still wish we could get one, however.

28. Do you own property?
* About 850 Sq. Feet of property.

29. Favorite Guilty pleasure?
* Reality TV.

30. Favorite movie?
* Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - The Gene Wilder Version.

31. What’s your favorite drink?
* a nice Shiraz or Malbec.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
* Hmmm, I never played, I mostly tried to burn blades of grass with a magnifying glass.

33. Cops or Robbers?
* Again, see above.

34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
* Well, if I'm able to go to the 20 year reunion in a few months, then I'll see MANY of them!

35. What radio station is your car tuned to?
* What car? If I had one, NPR.

36. Norm or Cliff?
* eek. Hard one. The post office guy made me laugh.

37. Grey’s or ‘The Office?
* The Office

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
* Does not doing the dishes more regularly count?

39. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
* Yes, I love this little computer - it keeps me connected to the world around me, as I work alone in an office.

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
* Gene Wilder.

41. Indoors or Outdoor?
* I like both - depends on the weather - I LOVE to be inside during bad weather, and outdoors when it's sunny!

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
* In High School.

43. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
* Nope.

44. Last book you read?
* 1, 2, 3 Magic

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
* While sitting ON the toilet.

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
* Palm Springs.

48. Do you go to a house of worship?
* Yes.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
* New career.

50. How old are you?
* 37.

Malka helps clean for Pesach...

Malka helps clean for Pesach...
Originally uploaded by shellipsm

Ayup - it's that time of year. Pull all of the crap out of the kitchen, and clean it. Looking for "crumbs and leavening."

Living in a NYC apartment, we actually just clean out ONE cupboard, as um, you know, there's NO WHERE to put everything. So we just lock up the other cabinets.

So one cupboard and the oven done, one fridge, counters, stove top and sink to do...

A Zissen Pesach to you all!

Wrong on SO many levels...

But you know? I'm STILL Laughing. It's FUNNY! Really funny - so um, maybe you shouldn't have a mouth full of coffee...

News, and a linky-loo...

First off, the U.T.E.R.U.S brigade "internet garage sale" is in FULL swing, and it's all to help fellow infertiles, including our dear pal, Cali.

So go bid on something, would ya?! (I made the orange, by the by, and am sad that there's NO bids on it! WAAAAAA)

Now onto some OTHER exciting news - Malka got into Renanim! http://www.uppereast.com/renanim.html

The MOMENT we walked in, we KNEW it was the right place for her - diverse kids, two certified teachers in each room - one that is American, one that is Israeli - the main teacher in the room that will be Malka's spent almost an hour talking to us, and showing us how they prepare them for kindergarten! Teaching them letters, numbers, etc. They take field trips, and BEST of all? We got some financial aid! It's still going to cost us more than we're paying now, but not the scary amount from other places, and it's just.so.great.

Malka starts in JUNE! OY! Can you say - tax spending incentive money going towards the education of a Jewish baby with lesbian moms!

The Israeli teacher in Malka's room is in the last picture on the left hand column, with all of the curly hair.


SQUEE!

do you twitter?

It's great for when those snippets of blog posts come to mind, I can just send a text message to my "assigned number," and it's automatically updated!

It's SO cool. You should try it.

All the cool kids are doing it.

And um, you know, if you wanted to follow me, I'm "saderman."

Calling the IVP...

Go and send some love to Chicory and family. They've had some serious suckiness this year, and one of their rays of hope was just dashed.

Love you, Chicory. Sending white light.

looking for my mojo...

My "to do list" is HUGE - and I'm either being lazy, or just un-motivated, or overwhelmed, or WTF? I don't know. But here's my list:

-finish all of my fun, fantastic sewing projects (see earlier posts for the WIP)
-clean my house
-fold Malka's laundry
-stick to my WW plan
-paint and mount the "Torah shelf" I made for Narda for her birthday
-clean out Malka's closet, move all of my crap out of it
-general de-cluttering, find something for the U.T.E.R.U.S. "garage sale"
-make the photo albums for the adoption of child #2
-copy Narda's and my birth certificates, send to adoption agency
-take Malka's artwork, cut up to mount onto nicely folded pieces of paper, turning them into GORGEOUS thank you cards
-finish a bazillion craft/knitting/sewing projects
-finish Malka's scrap book (um, I did 3 pages about a year ago)
-gardening
-get hair cut

And this doesn't even begin the "at work" to do list, of things that are "OK to wait a while, but SO need to get done" - like all of my check lists for the Major Chagim (holidays), but my window of time to get them done is narrowing.

My WW leader once said, when I asked her what the deal was - she (bless her heart) said - follow the Nike Ad - Just do it. It's SUCH a simple concept. To just STOP being in my own way. If only I could just put my fears/baggage/laziness/whatever on a shelf, and just get shit done, I'd be much happier.

Like this am, I loaded the dishwasher while Malka ate her yogurt, and then she helped me scoop the litter boxes and take out the trash. It's such a small thing, but I feel like superwoman for accomplishing it. I shouldn't, though, you know?